Steps need to be taken. New directions need to be followed. The old reassessed; saving what is usable, valuable or needed.

Feelings of loss, low self – esteem, lack of self love and fear are road blocks in the despair of divorce. Making decisions about your life when you are having a hard time remembering your name seems impossible.

Yes, this is a difficult place; the injustice of it all is not fair. So I give you permission to have a pity party, invite all the divorced persons you know and whine, cry, call the s. o. b. every name you desire, grieve. When you invite all the divorced people you know to the party, you will discover they understand and support the difficult position you are in, you will also discover your divorced friends have all moved on and are living the life they created. See it is possible. Good, now that the whining, crying and grieving are over the work begins to dismantle what did not work and to build what will work.

1. Find yourself an attorney. One that you are compatible with, one that understands your unique needs and one that will return your calls. I have a FREE e-book entitled "30 Steps to Take BEFORE You Hire an Attorney" that will help you to find the best attorney for you. Visit my website and sign-up for your FREE e-book today.
   
   
2. Take the time to be quiet , sit by your self and ask what your needs are for the future. Not your want's but your needs. List these needs, including training or college for your future. Your time has come to accept the new opportunities.
   
   
3. Locate all of your family bills, knowing that you will be paying them in the future. Electricity, water, telephone, television ,bills rarely drop when one partner leaves the home. The cost of rent or mortgage remains the same, even if one or a dozen live in the home. Food and clothing does decrease by one, divide it in half if you were a couple or by the number of people that you will be responsible for feeding and clothing. Think of every possible contingency that can occur. A great help for this is to go back through your check book for at least 24 months and go through all of your credit card bills for 24 months. It is better to use 24 months rather that 12 as it gives you a better idea of car repairs, emergencies etc. that have been part of your budget. This must be done as accurately as possible.
   
   
4. Locate a support group for persons going through divorce. Check out more that one group. This will be more help than you realize. You will understand that you are not alone. If you have children find a church or association that has divorce groups for them. If they are too young to attend a group. Make sure they understand, mommy and daddy will be there for them and will help with their problems and be available to answer their questions. If one parent has been abusive, verbally or physically, you will have to reassure the child alone. Never use the child as a tool to barter for what you want.
   
   
5. There are many other issues to deal with during these next few months, but for now, dealing with these will allow the process to move faster and take you from despair to victory. I will write other articles to help you and to show you what you will need to deal with in the near future. I believe finding the best attorney is the wisest use of your time and money.
   
   

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